let's do this, i'm a cashew

disco ball sunglasses

2006-04-02T12:26:00.000-07:00

and chad has discovered madonna's official website and can't stop obsessing over the disco ball button. i'll leave it at that. as for me, i've been downloading all the good alternative music possible and playing it loud enough to drown out the 14 minute techno remix of "i need a hero." the joys of living with your gay husband. anywho. chad posed an interesting question today, if you had one wish what would it be? before you answer, you must exclude all of the following: nothing about changing your appearance, getting money, living forever, etc. you know, the typical answers. chad said he would want a disco ball button on his watch that when he pushed it it would instantly start the lights where ever he was. i said i wish i could say whatever i wanted to all of my tables at work, especially the ones that piss me off, and have no consequences. can you imagine? that prick who says he wants his steak cooked well done, not burnt. i could actually say, yeah ok buddy, if you try to send it back for a recook and bitch up a storm, i'm not gonna give a shit. or how about that douche bag that eats his whole steak and then says it was terrible and he wants something to compensate. i could actually say, with a huge grin, then you shouldn't have eaten the whole thing dip shit. so many things i wish i could spat. a girl can dream.

it is done

2006-03-29T09:44:00.001-08:00

that's right folks, from the words of my advisor herself, i will complete my stead here at the fine university of toledo next may. and damn, it's been long enough. assuming i pass everything, lol. shit, i forgot about that part.

guilt

2006-03-22T14:47:00.000-08:00

have you ever felt guilty about something that you're wondering why you even feel guilty about? did that sentence even make sense to you? i am acustomed to the feeling of guilt, and like so many people, i don't enjoy it, especially when i truly believe i shoudln't have to feel like it. oh well, life goes on, as well as feelings of absolution. mmmmmm........absolut, makes me want to drink mucho vodka. i am not an alcoholic, i swear. anywho.

how do you measure a year

2006-03-20T14:04:00.000-08:00

just ask josh, he sure knows how many minutes are in a year. we all do, because chad likes to black out and play rent at 3 in the morning. no not the movie, just the dvd menu score. have you ever done something that lifted like 30 pounds off your shoulders? i recently have felt this bliss. i dropped the class from hell, and now i hope to retain my scholarship after i appeal it of course. but i literally have time to have a life now outside of geoffery chaucer, who was metaphorically kicking ye olde ass, and i hadn't even started on the projects that were due at the end of ye olde semester. but now i can say with sheer confidence, fuck it. i love the instructor withdrawal.

no day but today

2006-02-28T09:21:00.000-08:00

fuckin chad, he got me hooked on rent and now i can't stop watching it or singing the songs in my head. yeesh. but it's ok cause it's a really good movie. it makes you think about life alot. like for example, not being able to pay rent, living everyday like it's your last, and bursting into song at the cafe. sweet. i have been sleep deprived lately too, but last night i got 11 hours and i feel faaaaaaaaaaaaantastic for once in my life this week. after bombing a mid term i got wasted with chad and josh and crashed with a quickness. or as they say, made sweet love to my bed. i'm gonna leave you on that note. the only other thing in my life is getting ready for tennessee and lots of bears. YEE-HAAAAAW!!!!!!!!!!!

stress

2006-02-23T12:24:00.000-08:00

somebody kill me. no i'm just kidding. i just feel overwhelmed with school right now because i have 4 midterms next week and my only option of survival is crying myself to sleep at night. okay, not quite that dramatic. what i meant to say was that come thursday night, the amount of drunkeness i will sustain will top any other night i've accomplished thus far. and as far as working goes, i don't really need to pay my rent, do i? i mean, i'm sure dunbar real estate will undestand. yeesh. but nothing can spoil my mood today, for i have seen coldplay in concert finally. last night, me and big gay john, it was one of the greatest concerts of my life. if you ever get the chance to witness them live, take it. although chris martin looked like he hadn't shaved in about 4 days, he was still really fucking hot. i guess i'm attracted to that rustic look, i mean look at willy. i'm kidding willy, calm down. now i'm off to sign language class, and then possibly baking cookies tonight because i feel like being betty crocker for an evening. then to curl up on my gay-sex infested couch to watch "rent" finally because chad has it streaming 24-7 but i never get a chance to actually see the whole thing. ah musicals, they gay man's passion.

apple bottom jeans and a big ol' butt

2006-02-10T12:58:00.000-08:00

so i'm dancing around my room to the new eminem and nate dogg song and i am all alone because my chadwick is still gone. but never fear, i'm on my 3rd cosmo so i can't really feel much of anything. but i have to sober up for work........eventually. it's my big brother's birthday today!!!! i think he's 24, pretty sure, and next saturday is savannah's first birthday!!!!! i wouldn't miss it for the world, so shut up sarah it is a big deal. other than that there is no point to this post, i'm just killing time. oh yeah! jason and sarah are coming to visit too!!!!!it's a good day, i'm about to kick this cold i've had in the ass so i can finally drink tonight. fuck you germs! call me if you care to join!

viva vacation

2006-02-07T10:05:00.000-08:00

holy shit it's been awhile since i've posted. so much has happened. i just got back from vacation w/ the family and haven't even had time to breathe yet because i am so freakin busy with school and all these fucking tests i have to take. thank god i don't go back to work until tomorrow. the cruise was fun. i drank, alot, and got to see willy dress up like john travolta, shake his ass in people's faces and dance around to the beegee's. my brother busted a move also, don't worry, i have pictures for those of you unfortunate people who missed it. i got sick on the way home, thanks to willy passing me his germs, and now i am fighting off a cold, but all is good. chad is gone too, opening a new outback store in independence, ohio. i miss him terribly, but at least i don't have to use heat in my house for 2 weeks, so i will save money. and now i have to go to class, and i am not prepared. shit.

with the hours passing

2006-01-24T20:19:00.000-08:00

every morning i that i have to get up and get ready for class, i say in my half-awoke state of mind, didn't i just go yesterday? shouldn't i have a day off? i'm not complaining, i just don't understand my train of thought when i say this in my head. i know i have to go every day, but my mind is like, "fuck you." i have yet to skip a class willingly yet, that i am proud of. the only days i missed were the first day due to my work holiday party the previous evening, but nothing happens the first day anyway, and the day i had surgery. for some reason my doctor has to only be available tuesdays and thursdays, this really angers me. but somehow i have managed to deal. i want a full set of teeth don't i? i think so. now i have to read an article about darwin and his theories on evolution. i am curious to those of you who don't believe in evolution, what exactly are you thinking? i'm not attacking, i am just down right curious.

oh back to school

2006-01-19T10:12:00.000-08:00

i'm already over it, and we just started. maybe it's because i work 6 days a week and i haven't figured in homework to the equation yet. ah well, what are you gonna do? i have nothing of interest to write about, because my life is quite uneventful right now. i am getting ready for a cruise in like 2 weeks, and am not even close to being ready to sport a bathing suit. but hey, it's the poor on lookers that have to suffer, i can't see myself. suckers. but now i am gonna be late for class, so i will split.

i'm not quite dead yet

2006-01-10T11:55:00.000-08:00

yes folks, she is alive. it's been awhile since i've posted on the old blog. i recently moved and have yet to have the internet installed in my new pad. what are you gonna do? fortunatley, and i use the term loosely, i am on campus and can use their shit. classes started, i'm over it already. and come thursday mornin i'm goin under the knife again for my third of four surgeries i am having on the old smile. let's hope after this my oral surgeon (hehe, i said oral) will leave me the hell alone. i'll keep you posted. hey i might even post while heavily sedated on pain killers. giggity-gig.

the storm has passed

2005-12-21T09:30:00.000-08:00

the pms storm that is. i love that couple of days before it hits, it's complete emotional instability. poor willy, i feel really sorry for him sometimes. oh well. but i'm ok, i suppressed most of it with alcohol, it seemed to work. god bless the beer. it shall save us all, and the drunks shall inherit the earth. ok now i'm just ranting.

the joy of stats

2005-12-15T13:11:00.000-08:00

wait, there are none. i should be downstairs stuying for my exam but instead i am in a lab using willy's user name because the university decided to jack mine up and now i can't fix it. i did my first night of training for manager last night, wow do i suck. i don't knwo why margo offered me this position. oh well. i'm sure i'll catch on eventually. if not i'll be demoted back to serving which isn't that bad. at least when people start bitching at me i can say, "let me get my manager." and it won't be me.

just got paid

2005-12-14T10:07:00.000-08:00

finally. and the best part is, it's all gone already. bills and christmas shopping, gotta love it.

chad fall down go boom

2005-12-11T10:39:00.000-08:00

it was hilaaaaaaarious. once again chad got wasted and fell in the snow and got covered. but it was his birthday so he was entitled to it. me and willy were laughing too hard to help him up quick enough. hahaha. there really isn't a point to this post, jut wanted to say hi to everyone. i have finals this week and i cannot WAIT to be done. it's beer time on friday. yippee.

response

2005-12-04T17:19:00.000-08:00

sorry sarah, i read the article, and it's not proven to abort anything, it only suggests. and as for condoms, they don't really prevent std's either, so that can't be an argument. and if my "daughter" was only using plan B, at least she's doing something to prevent a pregnancy. if i would have had easy access to plan B i wouldn't even have the daughter to make my case. and that's the track i am on. sorry everyone, i have to stick with my guns, down with bush. they've proven to be pretty useless thus far. hooray for contraception and a woman's right to her own body.

p.s. but i respect your opinion, you are the smartest person i know, aside from my mama :)

mint on my pillow

2005-12-03T19:36:00.000-08:00

that's right, i want the morning after pill left on my pillow like a mint in a god damn hotel. and president bush can lick jason's balls for even mentioning the notion that the morning after pill promotes "promiscuity." that's right asshole, blame us, women really are the only source of all whore-ish activity (insert sarcastic smirk here). let's disregard all the deadbeat fathers who leave so many women in a bad situation. and calm down boys before you go off on me about all men i know they're not all useless (maybe). seriously, why can't plan B be just as available as a condom? they're essentially the same thing, an extra little forcefield around my uterus to prevent me from procreating while enjoying a healthy sex life. and as for you christian groups, you may as well give up on the whole "promote abstinence" thing. because believe me when i say, if we wanna get busy, we gonna get busy. and no amount of "god-like" inspiration is gonna calm my libido. so ladies we need to pull it together and take down the assholes that want to stop us from being human, because George is pretty much saying to all of us, you can't have sex without being a slut. my only consolation is that he's out after this term.

http://edition.cnn.com/2003/HEALTH/12/16/morning.after.pill.reut/

find out more.

oh how i hate ohio state

2005-11-19T10:30:00.000-08:00

not only because my father has beaten it into my head since i was born, but because it makes willy so mad that i love michigan and hate his stupid bucks and i really don't even care that much. in all honesty, i am a notre dame fan because that's who god made #1. i'm like the chinese railroad worker today, but i still have to root for blue because i hope they beat osu. hahahahaha. stupid football. i have to work anyway because we all know how important serving bloomin onions is. not very. but according to margo, they are like a deity in themselves. i hate my job.

GO BLUE!!!

michigan scares me

2005-11-06T09:25:00.000-08:00

so i drove up to essexville to visit sarah this weekend, and i have discovered that i have never had a good drive up to her house. seriously. first of all, there is construction in the same place that always has me dead stopped for like, 45 minutes. and this time, i almost got into 4 car accidents. that's right, i kept track. two of them would have killed me instantly, quite scary. but luckily i made it alive, and in one piece. now i'm just chillin while sarah's in the shower. savannah, her daughter, is such a little monkey now. she's mobile and wiggles all over the place. i don't know what happened to my baby! but she's so damn cute. anywho, in case i die on the way home, you have all been really great frineds, and i love you all. ta ta.

nothin special

2005-11-02T11:16:00.000-08:00

i just felt like posting since it's been a few days, nothin really spectacular has happened. back to school after a long weekend. i found out i have a stats test next tuesday that's supposed to be the hardest one of the semester. how many ways can i say.....yippee? not enough. fuckin stats, math is mentally crippling to some people, like me. ah well. that's about it, sorry it was so boring guys.

All About Jessi

2005-10-28T12:23:00.000-07:00

In the spirit of Sarah recently posting her survey, I decided to follow along. So in case you ever wondered anything about me, here you go.

Name: Jessica Elizibeth Michael Brown
Age: 22
Height:5'4"
Weight: yeah right
Hair color: brownish red
Eyes: green, blue, yellow, gray
Married: fuck no
Children: fuck no
Favorite Song: it’s a tie, plush by stone temple pilots or 3 libras by a perfect circle
Favorite Movie: star wars
Favorite Drink: Alcoholic: corona or apple martinis Non-Alcoholic: pepsi
Favorite Smell: willy
Favorite Time of Year: when it’s cold enough to wear hoodies
Favorite Time of Day: when I go to bed
Best Friend: miss sarah lynch, sir chad goshe and of course my wallyboots
Best Date: going to the star wars exhibit at the toledo art museum
Worst Date: a blind date with this guy at b.g. who no one knows about for good reason
Favorite Childhood Memory: playing with legos with sarah
Worst Childhood Memory: when I was 10 my uncle michael died of cancer, I never got over it
Favorite Part of Your Body: My eyes and my hair
Worst Part of Your Body: um……..everything else
One Thing You Regret: being so stupid my freshman year of high school
One Thing You Don't Regret: being in a serious relationship so young
If You Could Do One Selfish Thing: I’d bring outback steakhouse down from the inside
One Selfless Thing: i’d adopt all the homeless dogs I possibly could and start a shelter
One Person You'd Like to Know: my grandpa straka
How Many People You Have Kissed: more than I can remember, I’m guessing about 20ish
How Many People You Have Loved: enough to know it’s a dangerous game and you have to protect yourself
How Many People You Have Hurt: more than I’d like to admit
What Are You Most Proud Of: surviving my darkest days in high school
Least Proud of: being so mean sometimes to people who don’t deserve it
Final Thoughts: always tip your waitress at least 15%

i, am drunk

2005-10-26T19:24:00.000-07:00

wait wait wait, let me rephrase. i, am drunk, and......i am alone. why might you ask? well, my beloved is at work, my red head is in fort wayne, and my gay husband is at a concert somewhere downtown. that's the extent of my drinking crowd. therefore, i was forced to drink by myself. truth is, i just finished my take home essay mid-term that i've had for like a month and put off for like, a month. and let me tell you, finishing 3 essays in one night can lead a girl to a bottle of wine, and beyond. so here i am, staring down the barrel of a bottle of chateau st. michelle reisling, and i am saying, "ok bottle, let's do this, i'm a stress ball." makes you feel good. and i seem to be slurring my speech........i'll have another.

toothpaste and o.j. the never ending battle

2005-10-26T09:01:00.000-07:00

does anyone else have this problem? o.j. is the sweet necture of the gods in the morning, it wakes up your mouth and makes you feel all fuzzy inside. but then you are faced with the ever mounting reality that eventually you have to brush your teeth. is there any other combination of tastes worse than toothpaste and o.j. ? well, maybe beer and wine, but that's only when chad goshe is involved. i'm interested in your thoughts.

p.s. thanks for the drunken phonecall red head, i'm glad i could help you and your handle of rum walk home last night

halloween rocks my world

2005-10-24T10:36:00.000-07:00

so i went shopping for my halloween costume today, and i have come to a conclusion. i came to this conclusion after i saw a slutty minny mouse costume that threw me off. instead of beating around the bush like most girls and just dressing slutty and throwing on some bunny ears, i'm just gonna get to the point, i'm going as a slut. but not a current slut, a slut from the 18th century. should be fun. now all i need is pimp. i'm lookin at you dirty red head.

nobody walks in l.a.

2005-10-23T21:22:00.000-07:00

holy shit i have joined the masses and created my own blog! a place to type out my semi-psychotic rantings about my everyday life and let you all enjoy. i don't have much to type, being this is my first post and all, but i will say this. if you know me, you know i say fuck shoes. i'll keep you all updated.